Tired

It is really ironic to be starting a new blog in such a negative way. However, I kind of felt rather tired after chasing after the “wind” and trying to know more people. I do not know why but I just felt like blogging this, as the first blog of the year.

Since late November 2007 till now, I have been getting to know more and more people from a website which I have been visiting. I got to know some great people there but at the same time, I got to know some, who are just out to TAKE from you. Recently, I have re-written my standards in getting to know friends. However, I find that it’s not going to be an easy task after all.

Somehow, I guess I am really tired of myself… I just find that I am grasping the wind. I thought I have it but, in the end, I realized that, I’m being used.

Oh yes, since last year, I’ve finally got involved in a cell group. Somehow, I just find that everything there is rather cold and do not sense that I belong there at all. Maybe, it’s just me again?

I really do not know what to do at all. I need friends but who can I call, as a friend? The best of all, I do not know who my friend is and who my enemies are. I am getting confused. Really messed up and confused… I need direction…

Oh yes, few days ago, I learnt from my mum that my younger sister is pregnant again. She's in the 4th month of pregnancy and my mum believes that the baby's gonna be a baby boy again. Gosh... When is my turn? I really wonder when and how am I gonna get married or will I even get attached and have a wife eventually?

Really tired... Wish to end it all... I am feeling down.. Feeling discouraged... Does anyone know? Even when you know... Will it be too late? Sigh...

BLESS THE LORD ALL MY SOUL AND ALL THAT IS WITHIN ME! GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIMES! REJOICE IN THE LORD! AGAIN, I SAY REJOICE FOR GOD IS WITH ME. WHO CAN COME AGAINST ME? THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE RIVER OF VALLEY OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL! FOR GOD IS MY HELP IN TIMES OF NEEDS! GOD!!! I NEED YOU DESPERATELY. GUIDE ME I ASK AND PRAY IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!! HEAR MY CRY I PRAY! PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE ME. I'VE SINNED AND HAVE SINNED AGAINST YOU ALONE ONLY. DO NOT HIDE YOUR FACE AWAY FROM ME. REMEMBER THIS DAY... REMEMBER ME, THAT I WANT TO SERVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART, MY MIGHT AND SOUL. WITH ALL THAT IS WITHIN ME... DO NOT DEPART FROM ME IN JESUS' NAME...